I’ve intentionally not done the trimesters summaries on the go, while emotions were still sky-high. It was hard to find the right words back then. I try to always be honest here, but on the other hand I knew many things would change over time – and so they did.
People say that pregnancy is not a disease. And that’s true, kind of – you won’t get out of the bed after 7 days like nothing happened ;)
It’s crucial to remember that pregnancy is a very individual matter – the way a woman goes through it depends on plenty various factors. Some girls feel great through whole pregnancy period, have no health or mental issues at all and if it wasn’t for the belly, they would probably forget they’re pregnant. Others suffer from many different, previously unknown issues. And some others are pinned down to their or hospital beds.
It was often hard for me to read some of the comments under my fellow bloggers articles. Comments full of hypocrisy, supercilious and sincerely malicious. Pregnant woman shouldn’t get tense and it’s not because of “she’s pregnant so she has that privilege”, but because stress can lead to many serious complications, not to even mention that baby feels all that. Stress can lead to its slower development (can be anxious, sensitive, teary, etc.), which then leads to poor sleep quality and worse feeding experience. And those are two most important things for a newborn. So it’s worth having that in mind that there’s a possibility that innocent little being will suffer heavily from all the hate towards its mom. That’s a note for some people to rethink.
Before I got pregnant I completely didn’t appreciate the work that has to be done to create a new life. Never actually thought about it. I kind of regret not having any knowledge in that regard “before”. Yeah, you have 9 months to get up to speed, learn everything and rise up to a task. Is that a lot of time? Nope. Time flies way faster than you can imagine and when you finally get to be a mom – there’s even more stuff to crack on. Each day I learn something new, read on what I’m not confident about, go through n articles about something that I currently investigate. Being a mom, being responsible for life and health of such a small little being can be stressful. But they say, every new mom goes through that. Of all the advices I received there was one that got stuck with me the most, given by a midwife at the hospital – “mother won’t ever hurt her baby” – and after hundred of my questions (not really sure what they were about right now) – “mother’s intuition is always right”. And those two sentences saved me in many situations already when I was scared and didn’t know what to do.
To sum up my case – pregnancy was going through well, however it wasn’t easy at times. I wouldn’t even notice the first trimester if it wasn’t for my illness which can really step on your toe at the beginning of pregnancy. Second trimester – I don’t even recall what I suffered for. I remember back pains that started and didn’t leave until the baby was born. Definitely third trimester was the worst one – both physically and mentally. If I’d have to point something I regret about the time when I was pregnant – it’s not taking enough photos of the belly.
I also regret I didn’t have that self confidence to put myself in the first place back then. I can give you one advice – don’t overload yourself, be egoists (put your needs and health in first place). If someone stresses you out, maybe it’s better to limit the contact for a couple of months? By taking care about your physical and mental health, you take care care about your baby’s health.
I also didn’t really appreciate some little things like baby kicking. Gentle at first (I sometimes miss them), over time get stronger to end up with solid kick-boxing-like low-kicks. Preferably in mothers rib. At 3am ;) I regret focusing on negative emotions instead of being happy about creating a little human.
If I could go back in time, I would certainly change some things. But I can’t and after all, I remember only the good parts. I didn’t believe that you forget bad things. But I forgot. Well, maybe not completely, especially when it comes to puerperium. But I don’t come back to this and it doesn’t come back by itself. I look at Emma and suddenly everything else doesn’t matter ;) And that’s my wish for every future mom.